Saturday, April 19, 2014
It takes a special person to be strong enough to break from the "reality" the world has created now. That we all are made up of the same material, equally flawed. But, for some reason the way of living has brought us down to living in a pyramid state, where we are inferior and ignorant if at the bottom.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Fears(Continued)
April 11th, 2014
Fear is an irrational thought manifested by doubt. But, sometimes fear may be a good thing. It lets you know you're still alive and opens you to the willingness to fight. Once fear teaches us to let go and to turn towards ourselves for an answer, that fear becomes acceptance. Fear becomes no more. It is a feeling we only know one thing of, calling it fear. But, it's element contains more. It contains pathways and answers to ourselves. We can choose to let it manifest us and grow into something ugly, or we can evolve fear into determination. Drive the fear to present itself, so you can realize how vulnerable and weak it really is. It's an evil that drives us or swallows us whole. But, it's beauty is that it gives us a chance to search for that drive and strip it of it's weakness, rebuilding it into a different name. No longer called Fear, but Fire.
Fear is an irrational thought manifested by doubt. But, sometimes fear may be a good thing. It lets you know you're still alive and opens you to the willingness to fight. Once fear teaches us to let go and to turn towards ourselves for an answer, that fear becomes acceptance. Fear becomes no more. It is a feeling we only know one thing of, calling it fear. But, it's element contains more. It contains pathways and answers to ourselves. We can choose to let it manifest us and grow into something ugly, or we can evolve fear into determination. Drive the fear to present itself, so you can realize how vulnerable and weak it really is. It's an evil that drives us or swallows us whole. But, it's beauty is that it gives us a chance to search for that drive and strip it of it's weakness, rebuilding it into a different name. No longer called Fear, but Fire.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Fears
April 10th, 2014
My biggest struggle is fear. Fear itself is the wall that prevents you from jumping over into the green grass. That struggle blocks me from what's good. Today, I've started to write again, knowing that it is a good release for me to let go of some thought. Although, as fear allows me, I am afraid that I won't be consistent in this and that I won't heal. But, I trust in myself that when I did this prior in my life, I was incredibly successful at truly being happy and content. Because I allowed this writing as a release to clear my mind. The dedication to this will have to be thorough, and constant because eventually I believe I will become comfortable with using this as a tool. When successful, I sense clarity in my brain, I sense peace of mind, a clean house, stronger dedication to projects, and the willingness to thrive and grow.
I know my biggest fear is losing control and never finding balance again. Because, I have to have something strong to hold me down, while I'm reaching up. This physical realm is my home and my life. My brain is my escape to another place, useful as it is for learning, you can get lost easily in a place so unfamiliar, unlike home. If I fall off the deep end, I'll lose all progress that I have developed, lose people I care about, and second guess my potential in life. I don't want that. Not only do I not want to be in a lowly place, I want to be out on the surface, but on a mountain. To where I am still touching ground, but I am also much closer to the heavens. The realm of thinking, expanding, and connecting. The love that permeates through all living things, it pulses as a life force. An idea barely becoming accepted, but beyond important by any means. You must learn to love yourself physically and mentally, the vessel and touchstone of your mind, because the energy that you put into yourself, also reflects out.
The sourness that I have been feeding myself has taken a tole on me in constant ways. People are beginning to second guess my strengths and nature. They believe it is much simpler than this, that I am just simply incapable of handling life. Which is entirely untrue. I am very good, when dedicated and grounded. But, I can't let that discourage me, their opinions. Because, I am me and only I know what lurks in my head. That's the passion of growth, is because no one knows how much you've been growing beneath the surface, until you remove the dirt that's hiding you. But, as in good vegetables, you can't take them out of the ground when they're not ready. But, when you're ready and the gardener lifts you out of the soil, struggling to keep grasp, he's amazed to find the largest turnip he has ever laid his eyes upon in his whole life. That kind of difference is the difference I want to make to the world, let alone a farmer. But, I know the only way that will happen is if I grow pleasantly and stay persistent. Not giving up. When I become discouraged, it is hard for me to find my strength, because it is buried in dirt. Like the best golds and turnips.
This will aid me significantly, I know this. Because, even now, I feel a sense of release, finally able to let down a little. Almost emotional, because I feel a bit content, but my brain feels much clearer. My mission, when I have a topic abroad in my head, I will write about it, until I feel satisfied I covered the angles that I've managed to throw around in my head. Here, I've demonstrated my fears, but how to overcome them. That is a power, I am thankful to have, and must praise myself for what I am good for and my strengths. I must not tear myself down for my faults, but instead building up my qualities. I know I have much strength and potential. I would never call it power, because that equals domination, not equality.
My biggest struggle is fear. Fear itself is the wall that prevents you from jumping over into the green grass. That struggle blocks me from what's good. Today, I've started to write again, knowing that it is a good release for me to let go of some thought. Although, as fear allows me, I am afraid that I won't be consistent in this and that I won't heal. But, I trust in myself that when I did this prior in my life, I was incredibly successful at truly being happy and content. Because I allowed this writing as a release to clear my mind. The dedication to this will have to be thorough, and constant because eventually I believe I will become comfortable with using this as a tool. When successful, I sense clarity in my brain, I sense peace of mind, a clean house, stronger dedication to projects, and the willingness to thrive and grow.
I know my biggest fear is losing control and never finding balance again. Because, I have to have something strong to hold me down, while I'm reaching up. This physical realm is my home and my life. My brain is my escape to another place, useful as it is for learning, you can get lost easily in a place so unfamiliar, unlike home. If I fall off the deep end, I'll lose all progress that I have developed, lose people I care about, and second guess my potential in life. I don't want that. Not only do I not want to be in a lowly place, I want to be out on the surface, but on a mountain. To where I am still touching ground, but I am also much closer to the heavens. The realm of thinking, expanding, and connecting. The love that permeates through all living things, it pulses as a life force. An idea barely becoming accepted, but beyond important by any means. You must learn to love yourself physically and mentally, the vessel and touchstone of your mind, because the energy that you put into yourself, also reflects out.
The sourness that I have been feeding myself has taken a tole on me in constant ways. People are beginning to second guess my strengths and nature. They believe it is much simpler than this, that I am just simply incapable of handling life. Which is entirely untrue. I am very good, when dedicated and grounded. But, I can't let that discourage me, their opinions. Because, I am me and only I know what lurks in my head. That's the passion of growth, is because no one knows how much you've been growing beneath the surface, until you remove the dirt that's hiding you. But, as in good vegetables, you can't take them out of the ground when they're not ready. But, when you're ready and the gardener lifts you out of the soil, struggling to keep grasp, he's amazed to find the largest turnip he has ever laid his eyes upon in his whole life. That kind of difference is the difference I want to make to the world, let alone a farmer. But, I know the only way that will happen is if I grow pleasantly and stay persistent. Not giving up. When I become discouraged, it is hard for me to find my strength, because it is buried in dirt. Like the best golds and turnips.
This will aid me significantly, I know this. Because, even now, I feel a sense of release, finally able to let down a little. Almost emotional, because I feel a bit content, but my brain feels much clearer. My mission, when I have a topic abroad in my head, I will write about it, until I feel satisfied I covered the angles that I've managed to throw around in my head. Here, I've demonstrated my fears, but how to overcome them. That is a power, I am thankful to have, and must praise myself for what I am good for and my strengths. I must not tear myself down for my faults, but instead building up my qualities. I know I have much strength and potential. I would never call it power, because that equals domination, not equality.
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